79. Christmas Present

About... 3 and a half weeks back, I came back from Singapore. The sick but happy me did not realize the wallet was missing from his back pocket.

So the few days later unhappy me went and remake his I.C., incurring the stupid RM150 fine. Also had to remake the license which cost RM20.

I've decided to inform the Australian people about the loss only when I return. No point telling them so soon. Hell, there may be good people around!

Today, I received a mail. Well, not snail mail, it was hand delivered by some delivery boy. Envelop was from AmBank. With my name and address written on it.

From what my mom told me, and with the heavy modification of my imagination, this is what happened:

Some wanker took my wallet, opened it, saw the cash, started drooling.

Then wanker then took the wallet back to his office, and initiated a battle between Good and Evil in his brain. I've no idea how long this battle took, but the final result is Evil won.

So, woosh, wanker became 100+ richer. Now, what to do with the remains? I mean, when u pick a pearl outta the shellfish kinda thing, one has to consider what to do with the shell right?

So battle 2 is initiated. To be nice guy, and return the remains, or not. Guess what? Good and Evil won! Why? Cause wanker decided, 'I give you your wallet contents back, be grateful, as a reward for returning it, I'd take your wallet!' Tada!

Feeling happy, wanker takes up the nearest envelop to him, pours all the remaining contents of the wallet, including grocery receipts, into the envelop, attached a 30c stamp, copied down the address from my I.C. onto the envelop and sent it!

However! Wanker, who has become 100+ richer doesn't know that sending something so heavy and bulky needs more than 30c for postage. So, post office boy looks at envelop, classified it as 'Enggan Terima /Refused (Kekurangan Setem)' and resend it back.

Back to where? Now, let me describe the envelop. At the front, it has a large red logo, saying AmBank. So, wanker works for a bank! (and wanker has ugly handwriting) Turn the envelop around, and you get AmBank Berhad address! Envelop get resent back to AmBank Berhad.

One day, a secretary leaves his/her house and goes to work. Once at work, she resumes her regular morning routine, collect mail, read mail, leave mail at boss's table, etc. Then she sees a rejected mail. Thinking there must be a mistake, she decides to open it, and sees... my personal data. Wondering what the hell was it, she writes off 'Urgent!!! and Important!' on the top of the envelop, put everything back inside and put it on the boss's table.

Boss, feeling bossy, comes in to work one day, orders sec to serve him a cup of coffee, and goes into his office. Entering the office, he seems the funky bulky envelop.

"Secretary! What's the meaning of this!"

"A random envelop from the today's mail, sir?"

"I can see that! I mean, what's inside!"

"Cards and stuff about this guy named Lee Kuan."

"Really. Do we have such a employee? No? Customer? No? Then why the hell is it doing on my table?"

"It's a returned mail to this office, Sir"

"Ha! Which wanker used our office's envelop! ...So? What to do with this... thing?"

"We can put up and ad for it at the Star, and hope this person reads it, or deliver it back to him."

"I like your suggestion! I knew there was a reason you're my secretary! We'll go with the second suggestion. The first one costs too much money! Now, go handle it! And bring me my coffee!"

And so, the envelop was stapled back, and found it's way into the delivery boy's hands, and later into my mom's hands, and finally into mine. Soon, it's going into the rubbish bin. It's a good Christmas present though, albeit the only one I received, haha.
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P.S.: The story's a bit bizarre. And I don't know how to include the paper photostated with my I.C. and driving license into the story. It's stapled to it for the delivery fella to confirm my identification when he locates me.